Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Idk.. I give up.
Liar Liar, Pants on a Fire.
It's amazing how someone could tell lies to you, and continue doing so after a damned 4 - 5 years... Thinking that I'd never figure it out. Thinking that I'm that naive girl from the past that will believe every single shit anyone says.
Fuck you.
And you.
And you too.
Go and never come back into my life. You made it worthless. So worthless and so meaningless. And I hate you. Yet I love you. Why? I thought you were perfect in your own way, I thought you were real. But to much dismay, you're nothing of what I thought about you. You're not even real. I can't even tell. My heart aches, cries, whatever.
It's also very amazing how I can't talk to anyone about this. Mainly because, no one will understand. Everyone will think that I'm a total nutcase. Which I think I am.
K-Man & Derek : You're the coolest peeps ever. I've spoken to you guys about this, and K, you said I was mentally unstable. And Derek, I know you tried to absorb and believe all the shit, but you just didn't. I know that look on your face saying 'you're crazy'. I'm sorry. I know this kinda things only happen in the movies or some TV series, but it's happening in my life. I just wish you could see, and be in it.
[P/S: I wish you guys were girls instead]
I lost touch with the world.
What a newsflash.
the beauty exposed ; 9:46 PM
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Fucking A.
Okie dokies. Let's start.
Yesterday, had management presentation in the morning. And got a freakin A. Woooo!
So after that, went out for a lil bit, walked around town, and headed out to Somerset, and sat around at 8Volts. It's a tattoo studio, if you're all wondering. It was rather weird for me to be there. I mean, I didn't know anyone there, and I barely know Joe. So whatever. And guess what I've got? A new piercing. I know... Silly me. lol. Got a new sternum piercing, and all I can say is that, it hurts beyond fuck.
I was like, lying down, helpless while he was doing markings and stuff. Then told me to take a look and check, and told me to lay down again while he prepare his needles. Then he told me to breathe normally, and gave me a pillow to hug. Tony was like next to me, and I was holding onto his hand. And Joe told him to shut up cuz he was asking loads of questions and getting me kinda freaked. And without further ado, the next thing I know was the needle was poking onto my skin. It wasn't so bad at first... Not until it pierces through my skin. It hurts a whole shitload, and I was gripping onto Tony's hand so tight, and my toes were all curled up. It hurts!! Everything was blurry, and all I could feel was the needle piercing through. Then he stopped, and took the metal piece. Then, he started to push in the metal, and pushing out the needle. And another phase of pain horror!! It hurts like fuck! I so didn't expect it all coming. I thought it was gonna be like the naval piercing. But nope! It's worst.. And thank god it was a pretty quick procedure. I'm traumatized now. So I doubt I'll be getting another piercing anytime soon. Ahhhh
Second day. And looking pretty good. Doesn't hurt now, but I gotta be careful not to tug on it.
So today, was well, alright I guess.
My exams are in 2 weeks time, and I gotta start studying.
I hate studying.
the beauty exposed ; 10:43 PM
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Simpsons is the shit.
Simpsons is the shit!
Seriously!
Everyone gotta watch this one!!!
You'll laugh, and laugh, and go awwww, and then laugh some more, and awwwww.
No shit!
Just make a date to hit the theaters soon!!
Anyhow, management presentation is tomorrow. Kinda shitty. It gotta be in the morning. I hate morning classes. I've still got sociology not completed. And nothing's been done. Hooray!
I'll be heading down to town tomorrow... Idk... Have a fancy meal, I guess. lol.
Devil's Little Girl is trying to be Angelic.
Whatever.
the beauty exposed ; 10:18 PM
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Sundays.
My eyes are dry.
The weather is cool. Or cold. Either one, I can't decide.
It's late at night.
I can hear the rain splattering against the windows. No thunders or lightnings though.
I love it when it rains at night. Such a perfect weather to sleep in.
"I love walking in the rain cuz then, no one knows that I'm crying"
Blah blah blah. Tales of the everyday life. Everyone's heard that one. Tell me something new.
I'll tell you something new.
Something you probably don't even wanna know.
The ugliest dream, by far.
I murdered a baby.
A helpless baby, crying out loud.
And I suffocated it. To its death.
I don't even know the gender.
I don't even know why I did that.
In my dreams. Nightmare.
That is, everyone, something new.
Things aren't working out as great as I wanted it to be. Or pretended it to be. Things are slowly falling apart. Slowly... And I don't know how to fix it. I wish I could glue it back, like some ornament falling apart. I wish.
Someone take me away please.
For the first time ever, I feel so helpless.
I'm turning 19 in less than half a year, and I'm so pathetic.
the beauty exposed ; 10:33 PM
Friday, July 20, 2007
3 posts
Third post for the day.
First was after midnight. Second was in the afternoon.And now, after dusk.
Just came back, and borrowed like 5 novels. Yes, I AM nuts. Idk how I'm gonna finish reading them all in 3wks. I'll manage. Bookworm.
I cleared off some unwanted peeps off MSN. Those are the people who've added me, but never did talked to me. Boring.
So now, I'm like, looking for more ppl to talk to. I AM weird.
Blah.
the beauty exposed ; 8:37 PM
Currently in school now, and brought along my laptop. Thank goodness I don't have to bring much books today.
Anyhow, I'm just doing final touch-ups for my abuse presentation, and gonna work on the sociology presentation. Then maybe later, I'll design the management slides. Work work work. But I somehow love being busy.
The air con is cold. Brrr....
Benj - I MISS YOU!
the beauty exposed ; 1:01 PM
Alright peeps.
Fixed the link to my MySpace.
ADD ME BITCHES!
Goodnight.
the beauty exposed ; 12:15 AM
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Fuckks.
The test today was shit. Simply shit. It was darn difficult. And.... some of the questions were total fuckks.
Anyhow..
Idk.
Oh, I find it so hard to trust people. Whyy?
I just can't believe a shit people say. Idk. I'm just.. weird.
The weird kidd you wished you never knew.
the beauty exposed ; 10:15 PM
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Test. Fucked.
I've got a test tomorrow evening, and I've only flipped through certain pages. I'm gonna start studying for real later on, make my own crap notes, while leaving the ever-so-tempting laptop on. I'm addicted to the internet.
Just a moment ago, I was like browsing through sites to find pics of The Rev. Addicted to him as well. But sadly, he's engaged. Haha. Anyone know of any good sites with his piccies, please please please lemme know. Thanks.
I'm just gonna be dead bored and study now. Gahh... Some people just need to die.
the beauty exposed ; 5:37 PM
Monday, July 16, 2007
Bi-Curious + Harry Potter 5
So today, I head down to Cineleisure with Kyle... to catch Harry Pothead. Oops, Harry Potter. It was a bloody 2 hrs movie, and well, I couldn't really understand the movie. Maybe its cuz I've never watched the previous movies. Oh well. I guess I'll never grow to like that movie... I almost fell asleep in the cinema, and I was so uncomfortable. The seats sucked. And it was cold. And I was tired.
So here I am, at home, in front of the lappy. Tired. And I've got my prac test tmr. Oh what the heck.
And why in the world are people asking me if I'm bi? There's so many incidences. Do I look bi-sexual? Maybe I do. Maybe it's the way I response to people. Many it's because I hate homophobia. Idk. Enlighten me please, people. I might as well tell everyone I'm bi-curious. There, solves the problem.
the beauty exposed ; 10:09 PM
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Sunday.
I'm supposed to be studying for my theory test this Wednesday. But here I am... and watching JAG. How pathetic can my Sunday be? Very.
At least I'm through with Tuesday's practical test. Then maybe, I'll try to study for my theory. I'm just way lazy, and not in the mood to study. Just butt lazy.
I'm having a headache.
the beauty exposed ; 5:36 PM
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Added a song
I've added a song.
One of my all time faves.
Beautiful Lie by 30 Seconds to Mars.
Read up the lyrics. You'll love it too.
Enjoy.
Oh, and here's a pic of Jared Leto.
Isn't he gorgeous?
the beauty exposed ; 11:36 PM
Lonesome.
Fake smiles.
Lies.
My life.
Broken.
No matter how many people I know, how large my social network is, how many friends I have, one thing remains: Loneliness.
I don't even know what it is. Maybe it's because I don't dare to face my inner demon. The things I've suppressed. I don't even know what I'm suppressing.
I wish I know my future. I wish I can tell what's gonna happen in 10yrs time. I want to know.
Time out.
Certain people do make my life complicated. It's like those soap operas you watch on TV. The ones that are neverending. Seasons after seasons. It's too dramatic. How long am I able to keep up lying to myself?
One day, people will know the truth.
About the devil in me. What the devil in
me has done.
Alone. And still waiting for someone to save me.
And funny dream: Dreamt I met Jared Leto. I wish.
the beauty exposed ; 10:04 PM
Friday, July 13, 2007
New Skin
So I'm like totally bored.
I should've gone out or something.
I thought I was tired, and gonna get some sleep the moment I get back from school, but I was so wrong. I should've known myself by now.
I decided to change my blogskin, since I sticked to the previous one for months. I'm just a lazy bum who refuses to change the blogskin from time to time. I need to transfer this and that, and I just find it troublesome. Anyways, in case you don't know how to navigate through this blog [hinting someone I know], click on the top 4 boxes. You'll get to the page you want eventually.
Lately, I've been rather tired... Lethargic.. Fatigue.. No matter how long I sleep, or how relaxed my day is, I'm still tired. I can't sleep at nights. I can't vent it out. I don't even know what it is.
People come to and go out of my life. Sometimes, it's just so amazing. Things happen so quick, I sometimes miss the newsflash in my life. Too many things I can't handle. Too many crucial, deadly decisions to make. And no time. So what's a girl to do? Lie. Cheat. More lies.
Gonna grab a bite now. Sheesh, I miss eating KFC.
the beauty exposed ; 7:12 PM
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Untitled
Today feels rather... retarded.
Don't ask.
Anyways, Harry Potter is out, yay to the craze. Whatever.
It is bloody retarded.
No offense to all fans out there, but I just dislike the whole Harry Potter thing.
Finally managed to work on something for Community Health project. I'm gonna use tomorrow to think about some activities or something for the project.
And gonna use the remainder of the day, and Sunday to study for my upcoming tests. Yes, tests. How sucky can this whole week be? Next week is one heck of a crazy day. Tests, presentations. Goodness. I so hate school now.
Anyhow, I cant wait for Rush Hour 3 to be shown in cinemas, as well as the Simpsons. Awesome movies to watch.
Off to sleep I go.
the beauty exposed ; 10:47 PM
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
School of boredom
2 hours more to go before the next lecture. Oh wait, the final lecture of the day.
I came to school today for what? For 2 shit lessons. 1 stupid tutorial from where I learnt nothing from, a stupid long 5 hours break, and a onco lecture. Life is, by all means, 'wonderful'.
Whatever.
I am seriously bored outta my mind. The school computer sucks. No msn, lots or restrictions in surfing the site (can you believe it, no Friendster or MySpace allowed). It's simply retarded. Bleh. School is retarded. 5 more weeks, and then my final exams, and then my attachments. Which I dread even more. Fuck fuck fuck.
I can't wait to go home, get online and get bored again. That's all I ever do. Get bored. I've got a test next week, but I haven't even bothered to start studying. I can simply do that next week.
I just had to sleep late every single night. My reason: Chatting online. I wonder why only the awesome people get their asses online when I'm about to sleep. Stupid, right?
I still have got to save $75 for the FFAF concert . I doubt I'll be able to save up. I've only like... $10 with me now [care to donate? LOL].. And the concert is in September. I know it's still a long way to go, but I can guarantee that the tix are gonna sell out fast. Idk, if people are going for the SINGfest gigs, then hopefully, the tix for FFAF will still be available. The SINGfest gigs cost $200, and bands performing are: Avenged Sevenfold, Gym Class Heroes, The Academy Is..., MXPX, Good Charlotte, Cobra Starship. Totally awesome. And rumors are that Saosin and Paramore are coming down end of the year. Or somewhere in the year. Woot! Will try to see Saosin 'live'.
Anyhow, I've got projects undone, not knowing where to start, and I am just too lazy to even start on it. I just can't be bothered anymore if no one else bothers. I'll just wait and see what happen.
Till then.
Kaboom! [and explode to your death]
the beauty exposed ; 1:06 PM
Monday, July 9, 2007
Backache, and everything else aches too
Backache.
Headache.
Boys.
Girls.
Whatever.
ANyways, last week project, my team earned a distinction. Yay to us! We are as good as getting all the other groups panicking. Hahaha.
I feel like puking now. Drank too much water.
I watched Die Hard 4.0 with Kyle last Friday. Awesome guy. Funny, and random. Very random.
Now I'm tired.
the beauty exposed ; 11:03 PM
