There are times whereby we lie back in bed and daydream about the perfect boy/girl. How we would tweak certain features, how we would like the personalities to twine nicely with ours, or just about anything. Don't even bother to lie and say that you've never fantasized about creating the perfect person for yourself, it'll be a futile attempt, if so.
Nope, this entry has nothing to do with me indulging in too much of this guy:
AKA Edward Cullen.
He's pretty much perfect, though. What a shame he actually got his hair cut. Love that messy look.
Back to topic.
About my perfect guy. If I could design him, create him, how would I make him look like? Will he look dashingly hot like a supermodel, or simple, ordinary, yet ultra cute? (I think I will create an alien specie... really)
I would like him to be tall, the total opposite of my height. I wouldn't want him to be vertically challenged like I am. But not too tall, or I'm gonna be straining my neck every single time I need to talk to him, and kissing him would be a problem... so perhaps, no taller than 6ft tall (totally reminded me of Eva Longoria and Tony Parker). Why the height? I wouldn't want my kids to have the same fate as me... the fate of being too petite. Yes yes, I've heard it a million times: It's cute. It's adorable to be small, and petite. I know it is. But the world is pretty unfair towards petite-sized people, don't you think? Look at certain careers (which require a certain height requirement)... or designer clothes (which are mostly catered to people standing at 5ft3in and taller)... or the racks in supermarkets (the good items are always right at the top), or the bookstore, etc. It's not always cool to be mistaken as a 15year old all the time. It gets rather annoying after some while. Scratch that. So yeah, I'd like my perfect guy to be tall.
For his hair: Any color will do, actually. But since I've to like pick one color in order to complete the design for my perfect guy... I would choose.... brunette. There you go. Brown hair.
For his face: Any male-like eyebrows. As long as it's not one curved, or arched that is pencil-thin, I'm ok with it... Oh, no monobrows either. He has got to have those dreamy-like eyes, the kind that when you look at it, you feel like you could look right into his soul, the kind that has fire blazing in it, the kind that leaves you speechless, the kind that you can't stand to look away from. Perhaps like these kinda eyes:
These pair of eyes belonged to the same person, namely Jude Law. He's got the smexiest pair of eyes, ever. What eye color would I pick? Hmm.... hazel... or caramel... or greenish-bluish kind. Hot. His nose? Simple. Sharp, slender. Blends in perfectly with his other features. His lips? Those kissable kinds. Not too thin, or pursed... perhaps those slender, kinda full lips, but not thick either. Gosh, it's hard to explain. lol. Maybe something like Toby Hemingway's... He should have nice cheekbones, perfect complexion, nicely defined jaw. A bit of stubbles would be good, I think. And dimple. He must have a dimple. I have this crazy thing about dimples (to the point I wanna get myself a fake dimple). I just adore guys who have a blend-in of feminine features... don't ask me why.
For his body: muscular. Not too bulky like as though he's on steroids. Just... nicely muscular. Like this:
Yeap.. not too buffed up, not too skinny either. Just nice. The abs, the chest, the biceps... I should probably stop there. You get the idea. Oh, I gotta add this one: he gotta be well-endowed somewhere. Size do matter. LOL.
I think if I were to photoshop all the pictures together.... I would have created an alien abomination. lol. Cuz firstly, I am not good with photoshop. And next, there is practically no such thing as the perfect look without flaws... cuz seriously, that person would be an angel.. or just looked too weird.
Of course... what's the point of having someone with the looks of a god or angel but having such an impossible attitude or brash personality, right? So, the guy, of course, has got to be nice, sweet, understanding, caring, loyal, loving, etc etc etc. You could simply input all the positive remarks you want in that sentence. It'll be a pretty long list.
So there you go, actually. Isn't it nice if we were able to create or design our very own perfect person. Perhaps in the near future, we would be able to design robots like that. Artificial intelligence. Sometimes, it's so much better to be with a robot than a human being. I suppose after watching the movie A.I, it just has set me thinking. Maybe my expectation levels are wayyyy tooooo high for me to get a proper boyfriend.. All the guys may have felt intimidated. Oh well, if they can't have enough confidence to strut their stuff, then that's not a beauty already. No matter how they look like, they need to have that bit of confidence. Confidence is afterall sexy.
Till next week!
the beauty exposed ; 12:00 AM
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Music : People = Shit
Title: People = Shit Performed by: Slipknot
It was rather hard to pick out a song for this week... I was kinda stuck with The Disturbed "Down with the Sickness", Rise Against "Prayer of the Refugee", Blink 182 "Stay for the Kids", Staind "For You" and this one... but I suppose this one fits me the most now.
I think, if it wasn't for all the awesome inventions of today, I would be on my way to a murder spree. If there wasn't a thing called angry music, or blades and scissors, knives or needles, or poetry writing, or medication, at the very most, I would have been a rather sick person in the brain. Yes, I admit it loud and clear, I am not right in the head.
I am someone who keep things to oneself, especially anger. I suck it all up, and I know one day soon, I will explode to pieces... and I guess that's where it ends. I can feel it slowly creeping up on me, and no matter how much I try to suppress it, push it to the back of my mind, it's still there. It scares me to feel my hands are trembling with anger. It scares me to know what sick ideations that are forming in my head every single moment. It scares me to know that I do not feel pain despite slashing myself with a blade till I bleed. It scares me to know that I feed on other people's misery.
I need to lock myself away.
If you bought all my smiles, laughters, and cheery-self, it just shows how much you could never know someone. Now you know why I listen to loud music all the freaking time. Because there's always something behind those screams that you can't make out. Because it helps me to express how I'm pretty much feeling inside. It just helps a lot.
Something for you all to reflect on, eh?
The End.
--EDIT-- I wanna date a crossdresser someday. lol
And I've taken a vow of silence. I will not speak (unless totally necessary like at work, for instance, which sucks bollocks). The only way of communication you're gonna get from me is via text messages, or scribblings in a notepad. You will not hear my voice (again, unless it's totally necessary like at work, or talking to my grandma). Will I be able to keep up this vow of silence? I don't know.
the beauty exposed ; 12:48 AM
Friday, January 23, 2009
The Salary Conspiracy
And because this is MY blog, I CAN say whatever I want here, right?
Wrong.
If I were to not re-phrase the following paragraphs nicely, I would be thrown out of this country, or jailed permanently for life, or fined till I literally commit suicide, or would have to make a nation-wide apology statement. So I shall bring up the matter in a nice, subtle way. So that you'll be happy, I'll be happy, everyone's happy, ok?
If you haven't been surfing the net, or more importantly, keeping up with the news, you wouldn't know the following fact. You actually don't even have to watch the boring 2130hrs news on TV, or flip through Straits Times to know this. Just one click on Yahoo!Sg main page, and you'll come across this:
OK, so I lied about the 'just one click' shit for a reason: the main page got updated, ok? So it was just a few clicks under 'News', then 'Singapore', then 'Recommended'. Don't the headline just look so interesting? So, out of my curiosity, I clicked on it: [[READ READ READ READ!]]
Finished reading already? Good. Did you get the gist of it, at the very least? Did you understand anything from that article?
To sum it all up: pay cut up to 20% due to economic recession for the ministers.
Let's talk about my red boxes. I just have something to say about it. Red box 1: 'Fall by 12 to 20%' -- 12 to 20% to an average worker who earns, let's say 2K per month ($24K per annum) would freaking means a lot. That would mean that average worker will be bringing back home $400 less.. And if this poor average worker is the sole bread winner in the family, oh hell. I pity that person. But but but! 12 to 20% to someone who's earning $2million or $400,000 per annum plus would mean... peanuts! Hell, I could even support my whole family like that and live happily in my 5-room flat now. My parents could retire, my sister would be able to pursue her education up to polytechnic diploma, my brother could take up his pilot course. Heck it! I can't freaking believe that that amount of so-called cash 'loss' to their salary means alot, when we all very well know it that within their family, there are others who are very well-off and hold good positions with very good salary. That would really suffice for everything, won't it? Why the babble and yakking? Omigush!
Red box 2: 'As the salaries are linked to economic performance , the 2009 salaries may be subject to further adjustments given the volality of the economy' -- Ha! This won't just affect the ministers, trust me. This WILL, trust me, affect us, the rest of the citizens too. My dear colleagues, perhaps it's time for you to start looking forward to an increment of well... $35 (hey, that's like a dollar more than last year's increment). Perhaps my brother could look forward to an increment of $30 (that's like $3 more than last year's! I'm being optimistic, you know!). More recession. Less salary. And we are working our freaking asses off out here. Perhaps a tiny bit more pay wouldn't hurt for those who are actually dealing with LIVES every single day. You know, like their lives are in our hands kinda thing? At least keep us a tiny bit happier by giving us something to look forward to at the end of each month. Gawdddd.
Red Box 3: '...an estimated S$3.76million, about five times the annual salary for outgoing U.S. President...' -- Are you freaking kidding me? The President of the world is earning less then our PM? REALLY? I read The NewPaper and found out that the U.S. President earns approximately US$400,000 per annum, which would make it like, SGD600,000. Seriously? Our PM is also said to be the world's mostly paid minister in the world, or ever existed, or something like that. Omigush again.
Red box 4: '...dipping into its reserves worth hundreds of billions of dollars for the first time...' -- There was a source (no hard tangible proof here, sorry) that our PM is refusing to use the 'hundreds of billions of dollars' during this economic recession. Claimed to be that he said that Singapore will do just fine, and will slowly resurface, and will pull through (again, no hard tangible proofs here, sorry). But, there's always a first time for everything, right? I mean, what's the harm in touching just a teeny bit of that 'hundreds of billions of dollars' to help the nation out a bit? Just a little tiny bit.
And maybe, perhaps, the prices for grocery items or whatever other essential items should start DECREASING. One day, people will starve to death cuz everything in the market is just too freaking expensive. STARVATION STRIKE. I'm kidding. Salaries are decreasing, prices are increasing... where's the balance in that, you tell me? Things are just so not affordable nowadays. Geez.
Have a heart people. Think about it.
Note: I deeply apologize if I did offend anyone in this pathetic entry of mine with my very own thoughts and reflections on it. It wasn't my intention to offend anyone. My intention was to just purely share what's in my mind, my findings over the net, and such. Thank you for understanding. So I will not be expecting any lawyer letters in my mailbox or anyone in dark suits and dark shades to be trailing me around.. Oh wait, I think I read too much thriller novels. Sorry about that too.
the beauty exposed ; 12:00 AM
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Music Video: Conspiracy
Song Title: Conspiracy Performed by: Paramore
the beauty exposed ; 11:05 PM
Friday, January 16, 2009
Imagine...
It's that time of the week again... for an update.
Quick look into my oh-so-boring life: Bought myself a new book called 'Scarpetta' written by Patricia Cornwell.
Let me type out the back synopsis for you:
'Leaving behind her forensic pathology practice in South Carolina, Kay Scarpetta takes up an assignment in NYC, where the NYPD has asked her to examine an injured patient in a psychiatric ward.
The handcuffed and chained patient, Oscar Bane, has specifically asked for her, and when she literally has her gloved hands on him, he begins to talk - and the story he has to tell turns out to be one of the most bizarre she has ever heard.
He says his injuries were sustained in the course of a murder... that he did not commit. Is Bane a criminally insane stalker who has fixed on Scarpetta? Or is his paranoid tale true, and it is he who is being spied on, followed and stalked by the actual killer? The only thing Scarpetta knows for certain is that a woman has been tortured and murdered - and that more violent deaths will follow...'
Doesn't that just sound interesting to you? I mean, won't you like to find out what's really happening, who the real killer is, etc etc. If no, then you're not the thriller-kinda person. But whatever. I actually had an internal debate with myself on whether I should get Scarpetta or Change of Heart. But, we all know what I ended up with.
And still no signs of Breaking Dawn... but I'm so done with reading the story. Somehow, I'm expecting a continuation, more saga from it cuz the ending was just... well, insatiable. I'm sure there's more. I'm sure Stephenie Meyer will come up with more Twilight sagas.
Also bought myself this:
I was just so enticed by this ad:
So that's why I got it. I've got unsightly eyebags and dark circles, and I so badly wanna get rid of them. You've no idea how annoying it is to like splat concealer under my eyes every single day. But will it work? Well, I'll come back to answer that question in 4 weeks, yeah?
---
New blog skin, and the pictures were taken off some deviations made by deviants from deviantart.com. I did the layout, I did the colors, I did the words. Hence, you see, there are no credits to blogskins or whatever. Go ahead and say that I took your basecode or whatever, for I didn't. In case you fucktards haven't realized it yet, every blog looked the same. It's either there's a full plain layout, or hyperlinked layout. So there, stop screaming and being a petty whiner and claiming that I stole your codes. Go ahead, sue me.
For the header pictures: For the deviants that dislike having their pictures used (although special credits have been given and they have been mentioned and linked), do let me know. I would be more than glad to bring it down if it upsets you, or got you pissed, or whatever.
---
So I placed a picture saying 'Imagine' right at the top of my entry. What is that all about, you may ask. Honestly, I don't know either. But it'll be just so... philosophical to think about what the world could do with or without...
Imagine a world without music of any kind.... would we be able to speak out our innermost thoughts? Would we be able to share how we feel? Would we be able to portray our feelings via words we don't know exist? Would there be any dancers, then? How different would a Sunday Service be without the hymns everyone's so customized with? How boring would life be? Would there be more angry people out there?
Yes indeed... A world without music would be quiet. And what would the rockstars/popstars/etc be doing? Imagine Paris Hilton as a CEO of the Hilton Hotel. Imagine Britney Spears as a waitress in an average restaurant. Imagine Jason Mraz as a barista. Imagine the members of Paramore working as sales assistants in a departmental store. Imagine William Beckett as an engineer. Just imagine. And American Idol would be a reality TV show for talented actors/actresses, not for upcoming talented singers.
Imagine a world without guns. "I dream of a world with out guns
Guns weapons of mass obliteration Some one with a gun an individual armed with the dispense of god Gun with a someone a human being under the influence of the dispense of god.
I dream of a world without guns A world without the need for guns A world without the mentality to facilitate the use of guns A world where people are accountable, and responsible for there own actions A world where men do not need a weapon to be listened to, and to be in charge A world where people are able to breathe and speak their mind, without the use of guns being forced upon them A world where the GUNS are the problem, not the people who abuse them. Worlds where guns are not needed, and those who acquire them, are no longer in command of a world." - taken from storebought
Most of us dream of a world without the existence of guns, explosives, or anything that could fatally harm anyone. Imagine what it would do. Imagine what it could do. No one would have to die innocently just because of a random street shootout. No one would have to die due to a mass murder spree on the streets. No one would be held hostage with a gun on his/her head. We might not even have to deal with the school shootings. There are its pros and cons, I might say, but you get to weigh it out yourself.
Imagine a world without war. Oh how peaceful it will be. Young men would not have to be sent off to foreign lands to their very death. Families would be reunited with joy. The soil would not be painted blood red. Names would not just be memories. Pictures would not just bring tears to the eyes. We would not have to truly fear the safety of our everyday lives. We would not have to wake up fearing to hear the deafening sirens indicating war. We would not have to see tortures our very minds can't bear. Just google for 'World Without War', and you'll be staring at a search result with so many organizations that wants to make war illegal. Go read up on it.
Imagine a world without strangers (yeah, I know Giordano is having the WWS project). Wouldn't it be sweet? No bickerings. No smirkings. No riots. We know everyone around us. Somehow, in a way, won't you feel safe? No one is a stranger to you. Everyone would be together, hand-in-hand... helping one another out. There would be peace and harmony all around. And it actually isn't all that difficult to turn a stranger into someone else... just by tiny actions like smiling, or a simple wave. It's not difficult, but what's stopping us is actually the thing called 'ego'. And remember kids, do not talk to strangers.
Imagine if the world made up of nothing but rainbows, candies and colors. Something like the world in the cartoon series 'My Little Pony'. Won't it be awesome? Where everything is full of colors and laughters. Or living in Neverland (without the evil pirate and his gang, though). Full of magic, adventures... I guess such a place do exist... in our dreams, fantasies.
Heavenly, isn't it? No morons, this is a real place. Go figure.
Anyways, that's the end of my 'Imagine a world without....' entry. So people, keep the dream alive.
Till next week!
Note: Feel free to tag ideas for me to blog on. It could be anything random. Just give me a topic, I'd do the rest. Credits will be given to you. Cheers!
the beauty exposed ; 12:00 AM
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Music Video: Feeling Good
Feeling Good by Muse
Birds flying high You know how I feel Sun in the sky You know how I feel Breeze driftin' on by You know how I feel It's a new dawn It's a new day It's a new life For me.. And I'm feeling good
Fish in the sea You know how I feel River running free You know how I feel Blossom in the trees You know how I feel It's a new dawn It's a new day It's a new life For me... And I'm feeling good
Dragonfly out in the sun You know what I mean, don't you know Butterflies all having fun You know what I mean Sleep in peace When, the this day is done And this old world Is a new world And a bold world For me...
Stars when you shine You know how I feel Scent of the pine You know how I feel yeah, freedom is mine When you know how I feel It's a new dawn It's a new day It's a new life For me...
the beauty exposed ; 4:26 PM
Saturday, January 10, 2009
The conversation.
So I took a cab home one fine day.
And I was damn hoping for a damn freaking peaceful ride home (or somewhere near home). Until the cab driver (an uncle in his 40s, I supposed) said....
Driver: You.... chinese ah? Me: Erm, no...... Driver: Then you what? Me: You guess la, uncle Driver: Eurasian la. Must be eurasian. So pretty like that. Me: Haha, thank you [silent] Driver: That one just now... your boyfriend ah? Me: Why ah uncle? Driver: Aiyoh... so many angkongs.. not suitable for you la. Me: Oh. Haha Driver: One or two small ones are OK la... but not until like that... whole body! Not nice anymore. Look so garang like that Me: Is it? Driver: Boyfriend or not your boyfriend, as long you happy, can already la. Don't matter. Me: Haha Driver: But I tell you ah... not worth it leh.. so pretty, so wasted like that to be with that guy. Aiyoh.... But if you happy, can la. Anything lah. But ah... I don't think you will marry him lor. Me: Uh? Driver: Marriage is like a gamble, correct or not? Me: -Nods- Driver: Will you gamble your life away to be with a man like that? You tell me. Waste money on stupid things like that. Later die also difficult. Aiyoh.. Now all loving la, after marriage, all the black marks all come out. Me: Don't assume la uncle Driver: I know, I know. But I still don't think you will marry him lor. Me: Why? Driver: Because ah... I think you will find someone else.. How old are you? Me: 20. Driver: 20! Still so young! Still got many more years. I can bet in 2 years or so ah, you will have another boyfriend already. Maybe eurasian guy la Me: What make you say that? Driver: You eurasian mah.. Will easily find another eurasian guy. Then get married and have cute eurasian babies la. Me: Haha Driver: Really, I tell you. You will get married to someone better. With the looks to match yours la. I can see it in your face la. Definitely another person la. Soon soon. Me: You scaring me la uncle.. You what? Fortune teller ah? Driver: No la.. just saying out my opinion.. Oh, you eurasian, you speak like Singaporean ah Me: Of course la uncle. I was born here what... Grew up here also what. My whole life here what. Haha Driver: Oh... No wonder la. [silence throughout the last 5 minutes of the journey] Me: (upon alighting) Thanks ah, uncle. Driver: No problem! Take care ah! And don't put any ang kongs on yourself ah! Remember! Eurasian boy ah! -laughs-
End.
Freaky. LOL. Eurasian... my fucking ass eurasian la. How can I go from being chinese to being eurasian? Amazing la. Which part of me looks eurasian? ROFLMFAO
Ok, ok, enough already. Ya ya ya, I will find myself a eurasian boy. In my sweet-fucking-dreams.
[Apologies for the singlish. That was how the conversation went. Typical]
So boys, if you're single, cute and hot and good-looking, please fill out the following application and send to me..
LMFAO.
Ifonly life wasjust this colorful...
the beauty exposed ; 11:04 PM
I am really running out of ideas to blog about.
I'm planning to quit blogging entirely.
Let's keep that for another day.
So I was just thinking, if I were to blog random things twice or thrice in the same week, I'm bound to be topic-less the following week. If I were to update my blog too frequently, it'll be less interesting after a while, and kinda hard to follow.
So to keep everyone in suspense (and losing stat counts at the same time), I shall only update once per week. Maybe on a Friday or Saturday. Why? Cuz it's almost the end of the week, morons... so I should be able to cap things up.
Is that a done deal, then? Yup.
I also need to change my blog's skin for a new feel. I'm sick of this current one. I'd do that another day.
---
I'm currently on ONE week's worth of leave. Which, simply put, NO FUCKING WORK for a whole fucking week. No reports to write. No IVs to put up. No medicines to dispense. No dressings to do. No sponging to do. No bedpan to serve. No charts to update. No shifts to do. NO NO NO NO NO.
And then I'll be back to the shit hell-hole the following week for 2 days, before getting another 4 days worth of OFFs.
And a couple of nights ago, she literally begged me to stay. LITERALLY. Even promising to let the matter go, and let me do my nights in peace upon next roster out. Anything just as long as I stayed.
And what did I tell her? "I'd consider it during my leave. If I get a better job than this shit, I would still quit. If I don't have a job by then, then I'll stay..... until I get another job"
So, perhaps I might just stay. Perhaps.
---
Went people-watching early in the fucking morning yesterday (post-night, decided to have breakfast by the Singapore River at 8am in the fucking morning). All those people with oh-so-boring jobs, and those jobless bums, and pigeons (these tiny things are evil, I tell ya, EVIL. Eyeing on my damned breakfast), and just well, smoked myself shitless.
And then slept the whole of Friday.
Yes, I slept Friday away when other people are out partying the week. While people are getting drunk cuz it TGIF. I slept it all away.
Whatever.
the beauty exposed ; 11:55 AM
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Shacked.
Just one more fucking night to go. I can fucking do this.
And permanent leave for eternity. Blah.
The only thing that would make me stay? For the fuckers to beg. Literally. I don't know how, I don't care how. Word of my resignation is spreading like a fucking wildfire in the ward. It's just awaiting to fall upon those fuckers ears. Then bada-boom! Let's wait, yeah. For tonight, I shall walk in to work LATE and I don't fucking care.
---
As planned with my colleague, Lina, the weekday perm-nighters (and me) are gonna PARTY OUR SOCKS OFF! We planned to book a 4/5-star hotel for a night, and then party ALL NIGHT, and then crash in the hotel! Lina and I actually chose Jon to be our designated sane-drinker who will NOT get drunk and bring us safely back to the hotel room. Blahhhh. Let's just hope it works.
---
Oh oh, there's this street party on the 31st! OMG. SO GOING!
---
So people, if I didn't resign by end of this month, it simply meant the fuckers begged + adhered to my conditions.
WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Like I love being a nurse. Bleah.
the beauty exposed ; 9:39 AM
Monday, January 5, 2009
Resignation
As most of you probably don't know yet...
I'm tendering my resignation end of this month, after I get back from my leave. Yes, I am leaving my post as a Registered Nurse in SGH once and for all.
I've stayed there long enough. And I don't think I can take it any longer. Don't think I can stay there as a nurse any longer without going bonkers.
I'm through with doing shitty nursing work in Singapore. If I were to go on as a nurse, it won't be in Singapore.
I feel like committing suicide every single working day for the past 8 to 9 months. Every day without fail, I've contemplated on killing myself. And I've reached my breaking point. If I don't end this now, I will, I repeat, WILL end up in a mental institute due to suicide attempts, or just plain psychoses. Trust me.
So there you go. I'll be resigning and going for one month of No Pay Leave just because I can't stand it any longer.
So, if you have any job openings, do let me know. ANYTHING but nursing.
Goodbye fucking hospital, fucking patients, fucking ward sisters, fucking medications, fucking doctors, fucking dressings, fucking case sheets, fucking IMRs, fucking everything about the hospital that make me really sick of it.
Good-fucking-bye.
the beauty exposed ; 1:06 PM
Friday, January 2, 2009
Reminiscing...
So it's come to this.. It's already 2009, I've turned 20, not an inch taller, not a pound lesser.
2009... WHAT? *wakes up*
I must have slept 2008 away... just like that. And *blink blink* it's 2009. What a total drag, really.
And so, turning 20, I can't escape the inevitable question (which my mom AND grandmother asked): 'When are you gonna get married?' My answer, just like it has been the last 2 years: 'No one wants me'. ' No soulmate yet'. 'Bad stock market'. 'It's just not time yet'. And my mom said: 'Maybe this year. You should make it a birthday wish' *scoff scoff* Hellooooooooooooooooo. Unless she didn't notice it quite yet, my relationship life isn't all that fantastic. So how in the name of anything am I gonna get married this year?! *laughs uncontrollably* Mission: Impossible.
But really, I've thought of a perfect wedding, or maybe, not-so-perfect. Just a wedding. I'd like it to happen either in a function hall somewhere, or by the beach (somewhere at Sentosa... with the breeze...). I would love to have lots of calla lillies, and sunflowers, and orchids. I would love to hair a three-tiered mango cake (don't ask me why I chose mango). I would love to have doves and balloons around. I wouldn't want it to be all white... I'd want it to be either pale-yellow, pale-blue, pale-pink, or black (black weddings are super awesome). I would like it if I could have a themed wedding... like masquerade (yet again), or simply retro (let's go back to the 80s). I would want plenty of guests (but not too much cuz I'd want to mingle around with everyone, and take pictures with everyone) Instead of a string quartet, I'd prefer a rock band (The Used, perhaps? Or maybe Paramore?). A rock band whose capable of doing ballads as well. And for honeymoon... I'd want to visit Hawaii (oh, the beach), or Rome (oh, the sculptures), or BoraBora (oh, the beach, again), or just about anywhere the guy wants, really. I am not picky over there as long as there's a pretty romantic honeymoon whereby I could sightsee in the day, and be in bed in the night.
*reality slap* Enough of the wedding shit, anyways. It's not gonna happen in the next 10billion years. I was just sitting, eating, and thinking.... what have I done in 2008 that made it seemed like it flew by at the speed of light? I was in my final month of attachments in January. I was on vacation mode from February till April. That flew by toooooooo fast, really. I was pretty much awake at night, and asleep in the day. I was so hyper, and plan-less, that I'd be present even at the utmost last minute outing. I remembered catching up on a lot of sleep. And also watching what seemed like a million animes, and movies. And the cinema's my hideout every single week. Did I went to the zoo, then....? I doubt so.. I think it was the previous year. Oh, I remembered hanging out with the freaks wayyyyy too much. I remembered trying to get myself play the drums in coordination (and failed, apparently). That's the vacation mode I was talking about. Then came May.... WORK. I had fun during the first 3 weeks of the orientation with the crazy duo, Sharania & Fairuz, along with the sidekicks, Kuls & PX. It was an amazing orientation. And I graduated in May as well. I was close to tears that day (but no tears fell, thankfully, or it'd be embarrassing). I remembered standing at 42kg then (now 38kg, with sharper jaw, no cheeks, sunken eyes), with chubby cheeks, and flabs everywhere (exaggeration). WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK. That was pretty much my life. It revolves around WORK. May, June, July(had a week of leave there), August (another week of leave there), September, October, November, December. I think that was where my 2008 went.... WORKING.
I'm glad I got closer to certain friends... I got to know the true colors of certain people, I got to make new friends... I'm pretty glad that I did certain things, and pretty upset and disappointed with myself for doing certain things. I'm glad to have known Corrine for one year now (she's still my special lesbian partner). Glad to have known my poly mates for almost 4 years (yay to us!) Glad to be in contact once more with Kyle (after going MIA for like a year) Glad to still be friends with Tony Found that b*tch, and she ran away once more (loser!) Glad to be better, closer friends with K, Kriz, Cassidy, D. Just so glad to have known certain people, and upset to have known certain people. To know who they are, and hoping that I do not know certain things about who they are. It's been a looooooooooooooong year. A long year that flew by too quickly, too soon. And I need to totally rant about someone: SAM(this is just a nickname). I HATE SAM TO THE CORE (I think). Ignorant fuck. Oblivious fuck. You shit fuck. I really wanna scream into your fucking face you fucktard. I need to scream into your face. And slap you rotten too. UGHHHH! 2009: I WISH I NEVER EVER EVER EVER KNEW YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Ok, that was a little too extreme.. Maybe I just wish that certain things never happened and never said, and well.. whatever). I think I HATE you SAM.
Yes, I am ranting. 2008 down, 2009 to go. Like Kyle said to me: "Don't find that someone to indulge in, let it happen naturally" Blah. It won't happen naturally.... cuz...... I fear getting to know people to a closer, personal level.
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And thanks to everyone for their sweet birthday wishes (via text, calls, IMs, and tags). Love you all loads. Have a great year ahead!
the beauty exposed ; 12:00 AM
Thursday, January 1, 2009
2009
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hope you guys will stick to your resolutions, and well, keep it for the whole year and whatever else!
Officially, I am 20 years of age. I feel so old already.
My celebration? I wanted to have a themed-party... maybe masquerade (ha!) or, all-black, or mod.... or just about anything random. But it didn't happened. Cuz I thought of it like.... just a few weeks back, and trying to get the preparations done right on time is just impossible. Maybe I'll do it for my 21st birthday. Or a beach party. Or just club at Zouk. Or I might not even be here in Sg anymore.
My presents? By far, I had the dessert treat by the 2 girls. I received a digital camera from Kenny. I received an anklet from Derek (I need a new one, though, cuz I think I wore it too frequently, the anklet kinda "snapped".... But I totally adore it, that was why I had it on me everyday for the past one month) I got myself a pair of Levi's spectacles.
That's all for now. And hoping for more. Ha. 2009... Let's hope the year would be filled with smiles, laughters, colors, materials, brands, people, friends, cash, credit cards, traveling, parties, drinks, music, pictures. Let's try to paint a wonderful 2009.
And I'm so getting hooked onto F21 and Levi's and Luella and Armani X-change. I need to stop browsing through their online stores and keeping tabs on what I should probably get. STOP SPENDING CASH ON UNNECESSARY CLOTHINGS AND ACCESSORIES!
